You have just got engaged, and the time must come for you and your fiancé decide who to include on the guest list. You agree a set a rules to follow: e.g. no one is invited with a +1 unless they are engaged or living together; or, no children, except for those included in your main party. This is a promising start—until your future mother-in-law calls to tell you how much she'd appreciate it if you'd include your fiancé's 3 second cousins, all kids. What to do? Here, answers to some of the trickiest guest-list questions.
First Things First
You and your fiancé need to come up with a number before jotting names: an estimate of how many guests to include. This, of course, depends on your budget and on the size of your venue.
Sharon Naylor, wedding author, suggests that you then create four lists and label them "A" through "D." Your "A" list should include those people, beyond close family members, whom you can't imagine getting married without; best friends etc.
Aunts, cousins and high school friends you've stayed in touch with should make up your "B" list, while your "C" list should include colleagues , your parents' friends and neighbours you've known forever. Finally, your "D" list can tally up distant cousins, friends you've lost contact with and your parents' bridge partners. As your list grows you will need to eliminate people. Start with your "D" list and work your way backward. This is an effective method.
You and your fiancé need to come up with a number before jotting names: an estimate of how many guests to include. This, of course, depends on your budget and on the size of your venue.
Sharon Naylor, wedding author, suggests that you then create four lists and label them "A" through "D." Your "A" list should include those people, beyond close family members, whom you can't imagine getting married without; best friends etc.
Aunts, cousins and high school friends you've stayed in touch with should make up your "B" list, while your "C" list should include colleagues , your parents' friends and neighbours you've known forever. Finally, your "D" list can tally up distant cousins, friends you've lost contact with and your parents' bridge partners. As your list grows you will need to eliminate people. Start with your "D" list and work your way backward. This is an effective method.
The Parent Trap
Sometimes Parents have a guest-list agenda of their own. If you and your partner a more intimate wedding and your parents are pressing for more people set out rule that states ‘parents can't invite anyone that you or your fiancé hadn't seen in the last six months’. In case of drop outs on your part, allow your parents to keep a back-up list of people they could invite if others declined.
Traditionally, each family invites half the guests. However, if you and your fiancé are paying for the wedding, you may choose to divide your list in thirds: one-third for the bride's family; one-third for the groom's; and one-third for the couple. This sounds good, but is tricky to implement. Sometimes one family takes on most of the expenses. In this case, find an equitable way to divide the guest list. Once you do, give each set of parents a pre-determined number of invites-and stick to it!
Sometimes Parents have a guest-list agenda of their own. If you and your partner a more intimate wedding and your parents are pressing for more people set out rule that states ‘parents can't invite anyone that you or your fiancé hadn't seen in the last six months’. In case of drop outs on your part, allow your parents to keep a back-up list of people they could invite if others declined.
Traditionally, each family invites half the guests. However, if you and your fiancé are paying for the wedding, you may choose to divide your list in thirds: one-third for the bride's family; one-third for the groom's; and one-third for the couple. This sounds good, but is tricky to implement. Sometimes one family takes on most of the expenses. In this case, find an equitable way to divide the guest list. Once you do, give each set of parents a pre-determined number of invites-and stick to it!
The "and Guest" Debate
Typically, couples marrying in their 20s/30s have lots of single friends, which quickly raises the question of whether to invite them to bring a +1 to the wedding. It's generally accepted that any potential guest who is in a long-term relationship should be invited with his or her significant other. Beyond that, be stringent on whom to give ‘and guest’ on their invite.
Going alone may actually be a golden opportunity to meet potential dates. Your single pals may prefer that possibility to scrounging around for an escort. It can be more fun.
And what if someone sends back a response card that includes the name of a guest you didn't invite? Simply explain to your invitee that you have, for reasons of budget or size of venue, kept your guest list to a minimum and, unfortunately, you cannot extend your invitation to his/her guest. That is all that’s needed.
Sources : http://bridalguide.com/
Typically, couples marrying in their 20s/30s have lots of single friends, which quickly raises the question of whether to invite them to bring a +1 to the wedding. It's generally accepted that any potential guest who is in a long-term relationship should be invited with his or her significant other. Beyond that, be stringent on whom to give ‘and guest’ on their invite.
Going alone may actually be a golden opportunity to meet potential dates. Your single pals may prefer that possibility to scrounging around for an escort. It can be more fun.
And what if someone sends back a response card that includes the name of a guest you didn't invite? Simply explain to your invitee that you have, for reasons of budget or size of venue, kept your guest list to a minimum and, unfortunately, you cannot extend your invitation to his/her guest. That is all that’s needed.
Sources : http://bridalguide.com/